The Replacements tribute

– by Eugene Osudar

my favorite thing

it’s all about the mats

i will dare

bastards of young

androgynous

once, when i was living in vancouver
the guy, well, he was a kid back then,
in winnipeg when i met him,
he was 15
playing bass with his brother’s band
and he was the coolest
uncool kid around
he knew of all the hot bands
that kinda uncool cool kid

peter

he introduced me to the replacements
husker du
squirrel bait

he was That Cool
at 15

so we got into this heated debate

my position, purely missionary
in the debate

paul westerberg wrote 50 great songs
(and now he can’t even write
14 great songs!)

peter getting all funky
acrobatix/dominatrix
no way, 20 great songs.

so i huffed and puffed my research
listening to every westerbergian gem
and easily i soared over 20

to 30 but then, aaaarrrrggghhhhh

the stall hit and the hits exploded
like zits
ripened from a shaking
vesuvius skin topography

i stopped at 33
and that’s all

paul westerberg wrote 33 great songs

so, the other night at the cavern
rusty from the waking eyes
spinning vinyl
at something he calls
the vinyl drip
just like honey (jeez mary chain)
stylus dripping the grooves
plastic licking erogenous
ears and healing holy hearts

i brought let it be

and he vinyl dripped
i will dare and my favorite thing

and it’s all the same
sheets soaken wet
gaslight anthem
bruce springsteen

it’s all elvis
sun records elvis

it’s automatic
it’s rancid

so on new years eve

i’m at the Lo
and i lead the dance

cuz some 45 year old whack dancing job
needs to be the lord of the dance

oh my dancing ego!

so i email rosie the drummer of the sunparlour player

is there another eugene in every city
in every town
another 45 year (Old) me
dancing around
through the tears of a clown?

and he replied

“you are uniquely Eugene. No doubt about it.”

and so i gogogo gogol bordello to
nonono novillero

two sets and by the second set
everybody’s dancing
just because
it’s contagious
joy is
you know
try it
live it
breathe it
be it

be the joy virus

infect
the coolsters
the scenesters
the hipsters
the lipsters

and novillero’s
art of carrying on
is my song
is your song
hurt boy/hurt grl
come on
and holy fuck

let’s dance!

and so the Best Night at the Lo
was new years eve and i blasted
away to the albert
and my ear plugs still in the
lodger (david bowie) (nick) caves

and i enter/three songs in

working on the highway!!!!

bruce springsteen

it’s the geek street band

The Once A Year Cover Band

and i strip down the minus 30 layers and i dance

and the boys and grls hug and shake

my curves/my hands

and we’re dancing
we’re smiling!
sweating salting
licking
we’re heating up the winnipeg winter
chills
the thrills

and we don’t stop

it’s dancing in the dark
and a meadowlark
boy
is pulled on stage and does the video dance
with matt who plays/sings with the mag7s
whose voice sounds like bruce
and last year
just exactly a year ago
when my odyssey
began
the free man
the dancing man

i met matt and ian and the doors
to my heart flew open

and matt told me, singing
like bruce
is the toughest
hardest
workout
from his rumbling roaring! diaphragm
his aching throat
to his mangled mouth
that he has ever experienced
this is a guy who is a bike courier
who is so lean
not One single ounce of fat
on his frame
oh my matt
and he doesn’t move like The Boss

he doesn’t/no One Can

even at 59, ah!

the 59 sound

there i am again
at the gaslight anthem

and i have heard i have been awakened
to the joy

of rock n roll glitter grls

and weird whack dancing boys

come on!

youngsters

fly!

soar!

it’s all about the drive

on monday night, i was at the albert
and the afterbeat
came on and just a few weeks after
the afterbeat/ed at the cavern
the new drummer hit struck flashed
lightning sticks
\and so we went

we flew
we soared
and the boys and grls
came for the ride
jetstreaming creaming with me

rising to the tops
of bottoms

it’s s and m

it’s rock n roll glitter grls

and sparkly sweaty boys

holy fuck!

so rusty at the vinyl drip
earlier monday night
at the toad
(downstairs at the cavern
on tuesdays,
upstairs on mondays
at the toad(
looks at my nearly minted
english beat
i just can’t stop it
album
cuz all my albums were played once
to the listen
to the dance
and then i taped them
cassettes!

“which song do you want to hear, eugene.”

that’s it, i don’t know, they’re all great

and then rusty tells me
he toured with dave wakeling
as the english beat
(ranking roger wasn’t in that incarnation
nor the guitar dancing guys
i saw general public with dave and roger
and the fine young cannibals with the guitar dudes
but never The One
The Ska Band of all time
The English Beat!)
and rusty said
dave stiff recorded him

lawyers involved
but for all that anger
rusty left the tour
$$$ still in dispute

rusty said

I still Love All of these songs!

so rusty flashed the back of the album
at sean of novillero
pick a song
“twist and crawl”
instantly sean replied

so we twisted
and we crawled

and it’s 2009
y’all

no retreat
no regrets

\let’s go
one and all

let’s holy fuck
this year!

bruce springsteen

gaslight anthem

the hives

the weber brothers

the wind ups

see

it doesn’t matter

who or what you are

come one come all

you

rock n roll glitter grls

you

sweaty salt/lick dancing boys

we’ll take this year

and squeeeeeeeeeeeze it

another nail in my heart!