Nellie McKay releases her first album of new material in 13 years

Hey Guys Watch This is the New Yorker’s first album of new original material since 2010.

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Prostitution for Fun, Profit and Cancer Research

Good daydream fodder for gay men and kinky suburban moms: Robert Pattinson may hate basically all of his fans but he does love Zac Efron! Says Pattinson, “He was a really cool guy. That was one of the first times I’d ever been starstruck, but just because his face is so specific, it’s kind of surreal.” Hot. Uhm, I mean, no matter what this guy says, and he’s the male equivalent of Megan Fox now, in terms of blabbing undignified personal information and insulting the losers who love him, nothing will deter his rabid fanbase from stalking him to extinction. He could jump on Oprah’s sofa and scream, “I’m a bird-brained, homosexual, odiferous, flatulent, flabby non-vampire with British teeth and non-existent personal hygiene!” and it obviously wouldn’t make a difference to these people. Still, Zac and Robert, please sign up for the remake of Maurice. Just to prove you can act, of course.

Secret Diaries of a Call Girl Turned Big-Time Cancer Specialist – Now the Truth Can Be Told!

It’s great when life actually rewards your furtive love of something tawdry by making it turn out to be something actually quite interesting, and then you get to say you knew it was interesting all along. Case in point: The Secret Diaries of a Call Girl. Despite the fact that it seemed obvious it was complete fiction badly written by a horny dude, it was still entertaining and even titillating most of the time, and even the sleazy Showtime TV series was good enough for a Tuesday night of laundry folding. But evidently it was authentic after all, and that, of course is why us smart folks liked it in the first place, of course! The real call girl, Dr. Brooke Magnanti, was actually working her way through her PhD and is now a respected specialist in developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology in a hospital research group in Bristol. She’s now living happily ever after, and shockingly for feminists and conservatives alike, is regret and emotional-damage free. I’m not sure what lesson this should be teaching us. It’s confusing but that doesn’t mean I’m not still smug.


Fashion Watch – Ashlee Simpson

Awesome news for people running out of ugly clothes: Ashlee Simpson, the famous lip-synching, acting-impaired mother of a person named Bronx Mowgli or something and wife of a Fallout Boy and sister of Jessica, is doing a clothing line! With this level of success in everything she’s attempted in life so far, she should be lucky if she doesn’t make Lindsay Lohan’s tragic debut at Ungaro look like Valentino’s ultimate collection. It would kind of be cool if the line was completely amazing and we get to see Anna Wintour in an goth/emo ensemble on the frontlines of Ashlee’s sold-out catwalk at New York fashion week. Okay maybe that would be completely horrible. Also, more than unlikely.

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