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Little Foot Long Foot at the Pyramid Cabaret, Winnipeg

Little Foot Long Foot photo

Little Foot Long Foot at the Pyramid Cabaret, Winnipeg Aug 8 2009. Dallas Ludwick photo

Review and photos – Little Foot Long Foot at the Pyramid Cabaret, Winnipeg, Aug 8 2009

– text by eugene osudar/photos by Dallas Ludwick

The Real Guitar

Some excuses,
cottage weekend,
Everywhere, Manitoba
Anywhere, Ontario.
air guitar
Royal Albert Arms.
trout lake music
festival, Ontario.
Times Changed.

there’s less than 25
people. and mostly,
they’re in the other
bands. The Pyramid
holds 400. do the math,
feel the emptiness, the
cavernous desolation.

no matter what’s what,
you got to play it,


the way they did it,
in the beginning,
when there was nobody

just an empty space
fill it up with instruments
a deep dark place
a basement.
a little comfort,
a living room
a rented studio,

a garage and a dream.

Little Foot Long Foot
you find the name
that fits
and a philosophy
to play by
Loud Fast Rules
Big Heavy
Sweet Sexy
Hard Fast Rules,


a garage and a dream,
that’s a title,
of a song,
of an albummmmm.


dirty, filthy, straight
Isaac’s head’s
in the line of fire,
careful with that sharp ax,
Joan. Harsh Words,
that’s the CD. now,
get the picture,
imagine it,
she’s wielding his
ax as he’s splayed out
on the floor,
she’s spitting her
Harsh Words
down on him
ready to split him up
into so many pieces.

Isaac Klein’s in a kilt,
settling behind the drum
kit. he’s big, real big. so
is his hair, swirling big
he’s gonna pound the f’ing
sh#t out of those stretched
skins. doin’ it Big.

Joan Smith’s in the tight
blues, jeans,
strapping on her Big
Heavy (guitar). “it looks
good on her,” says me
to Dallas, “like it’s part
of her and extension of
her soul.”
just right.
like her jeans.

the set,

Half Man Half Mule
Thank You
No Holiday
Fake Cowboys
June Bug
Two Towns Over
King Hipster
(untitled new song)
Marriage Ain’t A Promise
Stripper Song
Isolation Blues

Joan’s voice is the Big Heavy
not husky,highly pitched
and powerful(l)y coming
at you
from all sides.
it fills you
pierces your defenses
your Big Heavy armor
like her playing
the Big Heavy (guitar)
it’s an ax
cutting you up
smashing your bones
you’re trembling
alone in the dark
and she’s coming for you
with her Big Heavy(s).
and her Harsh Words,
hacking you down
at the knees
you’re begging
for it
her sweet mercy,
please Joan

“You thought you were poetic
it turns out
that you just never shave”
from King Hipster,
the first lines.
cutting This and That Fool
down to size.

from Marriage Ain’t A Promise,
“Marriage ain’t a promise
it will leave you
all alone/you think
you’ve won the race
but just wait
till you’re at home.”

“I’m so tired of all these Fake Cowboys…
they never leave the city
they always smell so clean
i think i smell b.s.”

these sharp,
Harsh Words
ax blade sharp
hacking you down,
down down,
six feet under
the cold cold
ground, in an
unmarked grave.
where you belong.
worm food.

just me and Dallas
by the stage, she
says, “i feel bad for them,
there’s no one dancing,
they’re very danceable.”

and that’s The Honest
Harsh Truth. we’re feeling
bad, the excuses
have been made.

after the harshly rocking,
HFR set,
Joan and i talk about
that Big Heavy guitar.

she’s ecstatic when
i tell her that it fits so
right on her. that i knew
she would rock when
i saw her Strap It On.

Joan tells me a story
of her old friend from
The Manvils. it was his
guitar. one of eight.
she tells me how he smashes
his guitars and rocks it
on stage, The Manvils
are on the Must-See list
now (thanks Joan).
he was overdrawn at
the bank. deep in debt.
he said that’s a guitar
he doesn’t play, and so they
came to a mutually satisfying
agreement. relieving his debt.
she tells me how Big Heavy
that guitar felt on her and
now, she can’t stand playing
without it. Her Hot Big Heavy.

i tell her
about The Hot Live Guys
and Joe the guitarist
his Big Heavy
on and off stage
performance. his dance
with personal
and audience

we talk about our mutual
of Monotonix.

we come to an unspoken

we love music
that’s loud and intense
and moves you
to smash through
air guitar
to The Real Guitar
Big Heavy
rock n roll.

and that’s
the essence of
the philosophy
and the vision
of Joan and Isaac’s
Little Foot Long Foot.


Dallas Ludwick photo.


Dallas Ludwick photo.







About Eugene Osudar

“born, august 16, 1963. i’m 45, and yes, i’m getting too old for this. bring out the rocking chair. my first concert, november 1978, elvis costello and the attractions. i was 15. their blisteringly brilliant 65 minute set only served somebody to affirm my new direction in the musical parallel universes, new wave punk alternative, oh sanctity oh celebration (!Freedom!) college radio! i’m old, i’m used up and i’m free. i see 50something Full sets of music every month and dance most of them. and when i dance, i mean to say, I Dance and Celebrate, 2/3/4 hours a night. The Gaslight Anthem. The Boss. The Weber Brothers. The Wind Ups. i’ll dance with Los Campesinos. i’ll move to The Long Winters. The Replacements. Husker Du. The Pogues. oh elvis costello, oh Clash! i could go/go/go Gogol Bordello forever. L(eonard) Cohen. come, Dance With Me (Old 97s) wherever you may be, sincerely, eugene
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