Tribute – Lifeboat

this is my theory

that on any given night
anywhere
on the planet
ok, wait,

it doesn’t have to be night. it could be day. this theory is that
one, you, me them, we could experience the fucking most rockingest
band ever.

right then, right now.
tonight.
in winnipeg.
in ghent.
in moscow.

and this theory came to me,

when in my 20s i road tripped often with fellow music geek freaks, to
the mecca of then, minneapolis minnesota

and there we went to the 7th street entry and saw a band, that, alas
is no more and so few would even care to remember

lifeboat

i think they were from mass, or somewhere in the northern eastern us
lands

and that night

in my twenties, in the 7th street entry, perhaps 100 people
experienced the realness the surrealness of a band that reminded me
of lloyd cole and the commotions and PoppEd into our collective
unconsciousnesses like strawberry ice cream on the hottest day of the
year…

me and my geek freak music friends bought their vinyl and swore an
oath to make them Immmense

o that they never were

but on that night

they proved my theory

and conversely, i developed another theory

the converse law of greatness

that is to say on any given night, or day, anywhere here there or
everywhere

one can experience the worst shite band ever known to humanity

there are two such bands now playing in winnipeg

i am sad to say, to write, to report.

i will not name them. for they are human. and dream of being
beautiful and loved for their music.

they are wretched. and puke worthy. slime goo.

so, if on a night

or a day

you feel the greatness

or sicken at the inateness

of gutter poo

remember this

it is good to see the best and the worst of music

so that you will know what the mediocre is.

About Eugene Osudar

“born, august 16, 1963. i’m 45, and yes, i’m getting too old for this. bring out the rocking chair. my first concert, november 1978, elvis costello and the attractions. i was 15. their blisteringly brilliant 65 minute set only served somebody to affirm my new direction in the musical parallel universes, new wave punk alternative, oh sanctity oh celebration (!Freedom!) college radio! i’m old, i’m used up and i’m free. i see 50something Full sets of music every month and dance most of them. and when i dance, i mean to say, I Dance and Celebrate, 2/3/4 hours a night. The Gaslight Anthem. The Boss. The Weber Brothers. The Wind Ups. i’ll dance with Los Campesinos. i’ll move to The Long Winters. The Replacements. Husker Du. The Pogues. oh elvis costello, oh Clash! i could go/go/go Gogol Bordello forever. L(eonard) Cohen. come, Dance With Me (Old 97s) wherever you may be, sincerely, eugene

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