The best song title in the history of music?

Kim Zolciak photo

Scurrilous Ephemera – Kim Zolciak’s ‘Tardy for the Party’

– by Stephanie MacDonald

Incredibly awesome: Kim Zolciak, a blond person hitherto modestly famous for appearing on the Atlanta version of the furiously soul-destroying Real Housewives of Wherever franchise, despite being neither “real” nor a “housewife,” has managed to mitigate her reality-TV horribleness with a single warbly club song with the best title in the history of music: “Tardy For The Party”. What a refreshing lack of irony! What gritty production values for a dance hit! What a brave refusal to acknowledge mean-spirited and immature snickers pointing out more appropriate song names for this particular singer (tarty for the party, ‘tard-y’ for the party… etc.). Hear for yourself, if you’re enjoying life a bit too much at the moment: Kim Zolciak, “Tardy for the Party”.

In highbrow Canadian news (full circle edition): Pamela Anderson can’t afford to finish the renovations on her house and is evidently living in a trailer on the property with her two boys.

Epically tragic life-haver and unfortunately rape-y film director Roman Polanski was betrayed and arrested by the duplicitous Swiss on his way to a film festival in his honour. He faces extradition to the US on the charge of unlawful sex with a minor, from which he fled in 1978, a charge which pretty much everyone, including the victim, wants dropped. Coincidentally (but are there any coincidences, really?), Susan Atkins, (AKA “Sexy Sadie”) the feral-eyed Manson acolyte who smugly confessed to the vicious murder of Polanski’s young wife Sharon Tate and their unborn child, died in prison of a brain tumour this week.

Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate photo

Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate On Location Filming “Rosemary’s Baby” – August 28, 1967 Fifth Avenue and 57th Street

Michael Moore is getting excellent publicity for his new feature Capitalism: A Love Story without selling out his pinko values to the huge corporate machine. Appearing on a single Good Morning America, the adorably slovenly Moore predictably (and helpfully!) pointed out the high proportion of “permalancers” working at CBS without benefits and thus got himself blacklisted from a myriad of other boring talk show engagements with the network and its affiliates. This has garnered some interesting coverage by other networks, eager to stomp on CBS’s credibility as a news source. So much for objective journalism in a capitalist society! Hey, isn’t that the point of his movie? Calculated machination? Or authentic consequense of an underlying truth? Does it matter?

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