Oh what a bittersweet week it was for those who fondly remember the innocent 1990s. The Lollapaloozas, Birkenstocks-as-regular-footwear (you know who you are), mushrooms and ska bands, Mr. Lifto, Paralyzers, the flowery sundresses with cowboy boots and sexy/messy flannel shirts. Sigh. Anyho, enough reminiscing, because that world is dead with a capital D. Billy Corgan is dating Jessica Simpson. Disgusting, I know! Enough of that, because everyone knows he should go back to Courtney Love, they are made for each other. Incidentally, Courtney may be a bit lonely as she just lost custody of Frances Bean, who wants to live with her granny. Go Frances, and all good things to you, because you are smart like your amazing dad was. Oh, 90s, you have one more devastating blow for us (chicks) on the eve of this new-new decade: Eddie Vedder got married last weekend to his longtime girlfriend Jill McCormick. The only thing that could possibly cheer me up is a talking chair and Miss Yvonne. Phew! Luckily, Pee Wee Herman is coming back with a new stage show based on Pee Wee’s Playhouse at Club Nokia in L.A. Pterri Pterodactyl can heal almost any bad mood!
Making a strong case for those crazies who for some reason believe that country and western singers are not at the forefront of a new era of tolerance and cultural sensitivity, Toby Keith was filmed making slanty-eyes while singing a song with Will Smith involving lyrics about “yellow people” at, of all places, the Nobel Peace Prizes Awards Ceremony. No, really.
For those of you who were dying to know about that pregnant Kardashian, Kynthia, or Kyndi, or Karolyne or whatever her name is (SE got it wrong last time – thanks, fact checkers! It was actually Kourtney, not Khloe), she gave birth to a baby boy and then had a tuna sandwich. Yes, that tuna sandwich was actually reported. You may have no idea what is going on in Copenhagen, or the United Nations or Ottawa or even in your own neighbourhood but now you know that. I’m so sorry, I know how you feel.
A Christmas Miracle x 8!
But to cheer you up in a holiday way, here’s Octomom posing in a slutty Santa suit with eight of her fourteen offspring!