Suicide Girls at the 2010 Taboo Naughty But Nice Show in Vancouver, Jan 15 2011. Robyn Hanson photo

Preview—Taboo Naughty But Nice Show Vancouver 2012

- by Tania Chandler

Wanna warm up this weekend (Jan 19-22)? I mean really heat things up? Check out the 11th annual Taboo Naughty But Nice Show taking place at the Vancouver Convention Center from Thurs – Sun. Sexy seminars, sassy fashion shows, sultry pole dancing competitions, and even a dungeon are just a few of the steamy things that go on at Taboo… But *shhhhh, we don’t want to reveal too much! Here are a few juicy tidbits though…

Every year, the show incorporates new seminars and new entertainment, and this year is no exception. The 2012 show features a special guest appearance by five-time AVN Award- winning adult film star Monique Alexander, who will be signing autographs and selling DVDs Friday through Sunday. You can even have your pic taken with the blonde bombshell courtesy of Pin-Up Perfection Photography.

Monique Alexander at the 2011 AVN Awards.

There is a titillating new host this year, Master Sarah Moanies, Mistress of the Stage, and a special appearance by Burgundy Brixx, producer of Vancouver’s weekly Kitty Nights burlesque revue. Also new to this year’s show is Misty Greer, who will showcase Trunkshow by Misty Greer, her collection of retro, high-glam statement pieces for the everyday showgirl. The Vancouver designer told us, “Fashion should be like a good striptease, slow, deliberate, and captivating”.

Master Sarah Moanies will MC the Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show in Vancouver Jan 19 – 22.

There will be some old friends too – among the returning performers and events are Stiletto Storm and a Miss Pole Dance Taboo competition hosted by Tantra Fitness. Another must-see is the dungeon, which features live demonstrations from Noir Fetish Ball, Sin City Fetish Night, Vancouver Underground, and Metro Vancouver Kink.

And, as usual, there are dozens of booths featuring not only clothing (think corsets, lingerie and shoes) but tattoo artists and body painters, and of course lube, toys and latex.

Burgundy Brixx at Night Owl Revue Sept 28 2011. Jason Statler photo

According to organizers, the show has grown in leaps and bounds over the past years, and has managed to shake the stigma of a raunchy red-light show to attract a vast and diverse crowd of attendees from all walks of life. With 130+ exhibitors, there is something for everyone, no matter what your lifestyle, as well as contests, door prizes, and more. To top it all off, the weekend grand prize is an all-inclusive trip for 2 to Cancun courtesy of Sunwing and Temptation Resorts Spa. As if the weekend could get any hotter…

Hours of the Taboo Naughty… But Nice Show are:

Thurs Jan 19 5 p.m. – midnight
Fri Jan 20 5 p.m. -midnight
Sat Jan 21 noon- midnight
Sun Jan 22 noon – 6 p.m.

Tickets are $20.00 at the door, or receive $5.00 off when purchasing tickets online. To buy tickets and for more info, go to www.tabooshow.com

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Suicide Girls, Vancouver chapter, at Taboo Naughty But Nice Show, Jan 15 2010. Robyn Hanson photo

Tales from a Barstool meets the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show in Vancouver, Jan 15 2011

- story by SA & WT (Tales from a Bar Stool)/photos by Robyn Hanson

We like to think of ourselves as pretty adventurous, open-minded girls, but even the most imaginative person could get a shock at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show held at the Vancouver Convention Centre this past weekend (Jan 13 – 16, 2011).

There is something for every fetish at the show: latex, whips, chains, stuffed animals, tickling, piercing, golden showers, orgies.  Too many to write them all down, and some too obscure to comprehend.

Photo by Robyn Hanson

The first sight WT and I set our eyes on (besides the skull bedazzled shirts and sleeve tattoos, corsets and leggings worn as pants) was the Clips For Sale stage located at the main entrance. We arrived just in time to see a girl from the audience volunteer to be masturbated by two scantily clad women and two vibrators, while bound and blindfolded. I was without words and couldn’t tear my eyes away. Welcome to Taboo.

Next up on stage was a guy who looked like a 16-year-old Shia LaBeouf, sporting just a few hairs on his upper lip that can only be described as a perv stache. Either he was a late bloomer or he’s got a really great fake ID.  He was eager to get his balls caned… time for us to keep moving.

As we walked through the convention centre, our eyes kept darting from side to side. People were calling out to us from their booths in an effort to entice us to try their products. Dildos, cock rings, anal beads, vibrators, costumes, restraints. There were deals happening everywhere; but, I’m sorry, we have trouble buying something that’s $4.99 and sticking it in our most delicate bits.

Green Lantern penis cupcake at Taboo, Jan 15 2010. Robyn Hanson photo

The show isn’t just limited to sex toys… you could buy a boat, rent a party bus, get a financial loan or have your future told. The dealers may all be in cahoots with each other: the psychic tells you there’s a boat in your future, which would send you off to the boat dealer, who in turn would point you in the direction of the financiers. Smart. Men with boats definitely have more sex.

We stopped at the True Smooth station which was selling microdermabrasion kits, a tool that looks more like a drill apparatus than a beauty product. The sell is that while exfoliating the skin, the machine also removes hair, and can be used on any part of the body, including the nether regions. I don’t know about you, but the thought of a pumice-like stone buffering our coochies to smoothness is enough to make us recoil in horror. Ouch! Don’t women go through enough with Brazilians?

We found the Ace Angels bodypainting booth which was a treat to check out. A quick flip through their portfolio of work and we wondered why everybody didn’t get their bodies painted. We briefly contemplated getting ours done before we went for dinner after the show, but it may have streaked in the rain. Another time.

Ace Angels bodypainting booth at Taboo Naughty but Nice Show, Vancouver, Jan 15 2010.

One of the highlights for us (besides the guy walking around in full metal armour) was Stiletto Storm, a dance troupe that labels itself as an erotic circus, and hosted by Samantha Mack. More risqué than burlesque dancers but not as raunchy as strippers, dancers Sinful Cindy and Carmen were incredible! Using their seriously toned bodies to contort and twist themselves on the pole and hoop hanging from the ceiling, they were as limber as monkeys or Cirque de Soliel performers. Our mouths were agape in awe for the whole show. Time to start working on our core muscles.

Pole dancer at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Show at the Vancouver Convention Centre, Jan 15 2010. Robyn Hanson photo

We did one final loop through the aisles, wandered into “the dungeon”, where brave souls were covered in welts, and decided to call it a night. But not before cruising past the firemen and picking up a calendar – it’s all for the kids, I swear. Ladies, I highly recommend you find a fireman to throw you over his shoulder – take it from us, it’s rather thrilling.

While the Taboo show wouldn’t be our first choice of Saturday night entertainment, it certainly opened our eyes to a whole other world. Just when you think you’ve tried everything (or almost everything), you’ll discover a whole lot more that’s out there.

Mainstage entertainment at Taboo, Vancouver, Jan 15. Robyn Hanson photo

Our lessons from a sex show:

For the ladies…

1.     Some men like to get their balls caned. Perhaps ask before you jump right in.

2.    Firemen will get you hot but leave you wet.

3.    One reason why you don’t put your daughters in gymnastics: they may become strippers.

For the men…

1.    If you’re taking video of dancers from your front row seat, everyone knows you’re just going to go home and masturbate to it.

2.    That quiet girl you had a crush on in university may now be wearing a tail and dragging her boyfriend around on a chain.

3.    The Taboo show is excellent foreplay. Take your girlfriend and pick up some toys.

Read the further adventures of SA and WT on their blog Tales From a Bar Stool.

More photos from the 2011 Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show:

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Pole dancing at the sex trade show. Liz Stanton photo.

Kate ‘n’ Liz at the 2009 Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show

- review by Kate Reid/photos by Liz Stanton

The Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show is your ticket to finely-crafted erotic cakes, bouncing dildo strap-ons and hanging clitoral jewelry.

The annual trade show is a fun way to gratify (or discover) your inner kink without getting weirded out in the Granville Street sex shop tradition. If you have a predilection (I think I saw a vibrating version of that), Taboo has a product or position for you.

Here are some highlights from the show and some choice items for your bedroom or dungeon.

What Kate Reid calls the Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show "prom dress". Liz Stanton photo

Choosing the right prosthetic pussy is never easy, so allow me to suggest the Ayana Angel-endorsed “Pussy & Ass” – because like my mom always says during our family’s Tortilla Tuesday dinners, “Never settle for a plain taco when you can add some guacamole.”

The packaging says it’s a “genuine cast of Ayana Angel… detailed down to every luscious curve and fold.” If sticking your thingy into a plastic facsimile of a porn star’s hooha isn’t doing it for you, maybe you’re just not into plastic vaginas, in which case I feel very sorry for the sad life you must lead.

Order before midnight tonight... Liz Stanton photo.

If contracting syphilis in public is your thing, head on over to the tattoo booth and get that sleeve you always wanted, or better yet, head to Wild Rose Tattoo Shirts and pull some tattoo-adorned pantyhose over your arms instead, cause there’s nothing sexier than a body sheathed in nylon. Except for maybe a full-body condom.

The Candy Girl Cabaret is Vancouver’s version of the Pussycat Dolls, which is all well and good, but the titillating 20-minute stage show was rudely interrupted by a vertically-challenged male performer who kept butting in with casino-style crooning. While I’m all for little people love, this guy was no Peter Dinklage – he was too tall and too cheesy for such a glowing comparison, plus I doubt Dinklage would strip on stage (unless Tina Fey made a personal request – don’t pretend you didn’t notice the chemistry during the 30 Rock episode).

The point is, when I wanna watch some talented ladies straddle some chairs, I don’t want this dude’s theatrical eyebrow raises distracting from the fishnets. Way to dry up my girl shorts, buddy.

Candy Girl Cabaret at Paul Anthony's Talent Time Dec 1 2010 at Biltmore Cabaret, Vancouver. Robyn Hanson photo

One way to keep my garden watered would be to acquire the Ultimate Clit Caresser, a bit of dangly jewelry you attach to your girly bits that acts like a tuning fork. When the bead strands swing together, you feel a yay-ness in your happy place.

The girl selling these gems recommended wearing them under your clothes as you go about your day. Perhaps this can up the morale at my grandma’s women-only retirement home. If not, it’ll at least boost the satisfaction I’ll feel after volunteering.

The author with unidentified pastie-wearer. Liz Stanton photo

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